I know this sounds gloomy, but death is something that's been on my mind lately. As my wife can attest, I frequently talk about death, and issues surrounding death. Maybe that's because I work in hospice, or because I just recently lost my Grandpa and my Great-Grandma. It's probably a combination of those and other things that almost constantly remind me of my own mortality.
Tonight, at work, I was having a conversation with a co-worker of mine whose husband recently got diagnosed with cancer of the head and neck. Because she is a hospice nurse, the doctor left the job of "breaking the bad news " to her. She was telling me that she and her husband are both so shocked and not yet sure what to do, because this type of cancer does not typically respond well to even the most aggressive radiation or chemotherapy.
I have run through a similar scenario in my own mind many times. This is another reason why I want to be a doctor: I think that doctors today are not trained well when it comes to dealing with death. We live in a society where the most basic events in life, birth and death, often take place in a sterile, hospital environment, and family are either absent, or, if present, very uncomfortable. Our society denies death, treats getting old just like getting sick, and thinks of common killers (such as cancer) like silent enemies, or even as punishment. And our doctors don't do much to fix this incorrect notion of ours, in fact, they are somewhat to blame.
I have heard of oncologists who fill their patients with false hope, or don't really help their patients to understand their situation in such a way that they can make their own decisions when it comes to death. For example, a man with a difficult type of cancer may go to see an oncologist and be told that treatment can only offer him a 25% chance of cure. But what he doesn't hear is that the stats are against him: he has a 75% chance that the therapy will not help, and will most likely make his last months of life more painful, and miserable. And rarely, if ever, will an oncologist include in a patients list of options, doing nothing. People tend to view this as "giving up," but the truth is, sometimes going that route will give you a better chance of having a good quality of life as long as possible. I've heard of studies that showed people with terminal illness who chose the palliative approach, like hospice, versus the curative approach actually lived longer, and better, no doubt. That is to say, by focusing on symptom relief at the end of life, rather than treating the cause and trying to prolong the coming of death, one can embrace their condition and try to live the rest of their life the way they always wanted to.
Tonight, at work, I was having a conversation with a co-worker of mine whose husband recently got diagnosed with cancer of the head and neck. Because she is a hospice nurse, the doctor left the job of "breaking the bad news " to her. She was telling me that she and her husband are both so shocked and not yet sure what to do, because this type of cancer does not typically respond well to even the most aggressive radiation or chemotherapy.
I have run through a similar scenario in my own mind many times. This is another reason why I want to be a doctor: I think that doctors today are not trained well when it comes to dealing with death. We live in a society where the most basic events in life, birth and death, often take place in a sterile, hospital environment, and family are either absent, or, if present, very uncomfortable. Our society denies death, treats getting old just like getting sick, and thinks of common killers (such as cancer) like silent enemies, or even as punishment. And our doctors don't do much to fix this incorrect notion of ours, in fact, they are somewhat to blame.
I have heard of oncologists who fill their patients with false hope, or don't really help their patients to understand their situation in such a way that they can make their own decisions when it comes to death. For example, a man with a difficult type of cancer may go to see an oncologist and be told that treatment can only offer him a 25% chance of cure. But what he doesn't hear is that the stats are against him: he has a 75% chance that the therapy will not help, and will most likely make his last months of life more painful, and miserable. And rarely, if ever, will an oncologist include in a patients list of options, doing nothing. People tend to view this as "giving up," but the truth is, sometimes going that route will give you a better chance of having a good quality of life as long as possible. I've heard of studies that showed people with terminal illness who chose the palliative approach, like hospice, versus the curative approach actually lived longer, and better, no doubt. That is to say, by focusing on symptom relief at the end of life, rather than treating the cause and trying to prolong the coming of death, one can embrace their condition and try to live the rest of their life the way they always wanted to.
My wife really likes that country song "Live like you were dying," you know it: "I went sky diving, I went Rocky Mountain climbing, I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named 'blue man's shoes,'..." At the end the singer says: "I loved deeper, and I spoke sweeter, and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying. Someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying!" Well, what if we lived like that all the time?! What if our mortality was something we talked about more often? I bet it would change our priorities, and I bet we would be a lot happier. I hope that if something similar to what happened to my co-worker's husband ever happens to me, that I'll be level-headed, and I'll have the courage to embrace my mortality and make the choice to live the rest of my life the best I can.
After all, death is part of life. It comes to us all, and sooner than we think. But if you believe, as I do, that death is not the end, it does not have to be a tragedy, or shake you to your core. Even the humanistic view that doesn't necessarily accept the possibility of an afterlife, provides some meaning and comfort in death. My anecdotal experience with people of my own faith around the time of death has disappointed me, somewhat. We have the most comforting doctrine I have ever heard when it comes to the afterlife, yet I have seen many LDS people nearing death who are scared, and anxious. I don't know why that is, but it doesn't need to be so.
I learned a catchy little saying while I was on my mission in Brazil about the subject: "When I came into the world, everybody laughed, and I cried. When I leave the world, everybody will cry, but I, will be laughing!" Why shouldn't we be excited about what awaits us? Why shouldn't we celebrate death? After all, if Zion does exist in heaven, as Plato suggested, we will find it. And that is something to be happy about.
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